I feel like saying this out loud could get me punched in the face, but I’m feeling a bit bored today. Even though I haven’t been working for a week, today is really my first official day of unemployment – or rather of self employment as a new travel blogger (who is not travelling yet LOL).
Last week was a blur of activity, finishing up my last days of work and saying goodbye to my friends and coworkers, then rushing off quickly after my last day of work to go for a week-long sleep over with my best friend (AKA besties gone not-so-wild) while our husbands went hunting. I’ve been keeping somewhat busy, so I haven’t really taken any time to let it all sink in. My first post-work week has felt more like a holiday thanks to my amazing BFF who cooked and cleaned and made me feel like a guest at a 5 star resort! So now that we are back at home, I got up today after a delightful sleep in, and I’ve been feeling unsettled, like I need to be doing stuff. I still have a to do list, but nothing has to get done right away, and all the to dos can wait till next week. So I’m finding myself feeling antsy. I’m trying to relax and enjoy the freedom and just be in the moment for once, but I guess I’m still geared up, and and it’s hard to shake the feeling that I should be doing something productive.
It’s easy for me to distract myself with things to fill up the spaces, whether it’s talking to fill silences, eating or shopping to fill the emotional voids, keeping busy to stop myself from having to look inside. I think this is an important part of my journey to be able to finally accept that I don’t have to do something, and to just be. I think our society encourages and rewards us for being busy and distracted. For fun I Googled “how to be bored” and a lot of the search results were for articles on preventing and eliminating boredom, like it’s something to be avoided at all costs. We aren’t really taught how to be still and silent and to listen to our inner voices, its far better to run away from that and to keep distracted.
I feel very grateful right now that I am in a position where I get to be bored. So perhaps it’s time for me to turn off the computer, and face the quiet, and see what happens next.